An image of home
by Melisa Duque
When words and thoughts flow otherwise, how can we articulate the shock of living through collective crisis?
This is an entry into my feeling-thinking, or the Colombian concept of sentipensando. On a sunny afternoon, from the living room, in late March 2020. When the global count was 42,107 dead people and 857,487 ‘confirmed cases’. Here is a glimpse of my disrupted thinking. Affected by unarticulated emotional shock. Which turned my writing from its usual flowing paragraphs with no regard for punctuation into a staccato of single word sentences. The common thread that runs throughout is about how home—understood broadly as familiar sites, things, languages, emotions, relations, and routines—is changing, has changed, now.
Home spheres. Earth. Souths. Norths. In-betweens. ________ . Family. Colombia. Medellin.
Home matters. Origins. Etymology. Matters. Mother. Wood. Meanings. Language. Home. Makings. Feelings. Sites. Relationships. With others. With oneself.
Australia. Melbourne. Time-zones. Home screens. Windows. Outdoors. Indoors. Technologies. Working. From home. Cushion desk. Ergonomic. Routines. Schedules. Spaces. Security. Purposeful. Economic. Social. Safety. Comfort. Wellbeing. Hwansho. Lámpara. Monstruo. Delfin. Homeliness.
Boundaries. Domestic politics. Closed borders. Limited movements. Muted microphone. Doors closed. Distancing. Home choices. No choices. Rent. Unemployment. Losses. Blurred. Focus. Home. Risks. Domestic violence. Mental health. Tensions. Rising. Curves. Peaking. Restrictions. ‘Care
army’. Quarantine. Pandemic.
Flight home. Cancelled. At home. Connected. Stage 3. Denial. Home. Feels. Unfamiliar. Novelty. Shaken. Shifting. Spreading. Containing. Death. Grief. Care. Everyday. Designing. Wellbeing. Forward. Hope. Uncertain. Pause. Moving. Fast. Internet. Slow. Year. Spirals. Breathe in. Breath out. Breathing as home.
Short breath. Cough. Fever. Fear. Viral. Crown. Green. Red. Ruby Cruise. Black. White. .
Earthy. Fire. Lungs. Burn. Amazon. Australia. Temperatures rise. Fever. Discomfort. Accepting. Changing.
Washing. Hands. Clothes. Shoes. Laundry. New rules. Lift says. Indoors. Balcony. Risky.
Living room. Messy. As usual. In use. Overuse. Cleaning. Door handles. Home. Boundaries. Invisible. Dirt. Lively.
Refresh. News. Stop. News. Noise. Diet. Truth here. And there. Who knows best. Who’s wrong. Do this. Do that. Don’t. Hairdressing. From home. Breathe in. Breathe out. Pause. Sense. Present. Home. Indoors.
Within. Oneself. Fridge hum. Home. Ohm. Yoga. I should. I don’t. Care. Sleep. Less. More. Resting. Waiting. Flattening. Slowing.
Zooming. Deadlines. Meetings. Backgrounds. Routines. Creating. Everyday. Different. At home. Designing. Improvising. Making do. Cleaning. Again.
Walk. Air. Sun. Sky. Awkward interactions. Over smiles. Compensate. Loss. Normality. Gone. Walk. Shop. No touch. Washing food. Cleaning. Again.
Meme. Humour. Cynical. Critical. Soft. Mixed feelings. Disrupted. Homes Spheres. Clinical. Silence. Dog Barking. Baby crying. Neighbours chatting. Happy birthday singing. Balcony expressions. Home gardening. Everyday. Designing. Well. Being. Home-making. Baking.
Writings. Readings. Social media. Mediating. Anti-distancing. Watching. Neighbours. Birds. Clouds. Music. Dishes. Tea time. Home break. Coffee. Popcorn. Chocolate. Kitchen. Cacerolazos. Chats. Whiskey. Arepa.
Home screens. New window. Safe as. Desktop. Furniture. Appropriation. Contingent. Participatory. Negotiated. Home spheres. Changing. Confining. Stretching. Blending. Functions. Meanings.
Smarting. Technologies. Uncertainty. Exposure. Virus. Scam. Losing. Safety. Future. Fears.
Care. Breath in. Breathe out. Present. At home. Pause. Rest. Silence. Tinto time. Miau.
By the time of publication, the global count was 285,445 deaths and 4,168,427 confirmed cases, and counting. In their memory as they go ‘home’, a moment of silence.
Contact: Melisa Duque