#9 - “Uhgood (어긋)". RM of BTS (방탄소년단 알엠), 2018

A Story of the Song...Story behind the Song by Vihangi Nimesha Kulathilaka (Monash University)

A melancholic song that offers a silver lining, 어긋 recounts how introspection, while necessary, often wreck chaos in the way we view ourselves, overly critical of our misgivings. RM narrates his struggle of dealing with the dissonant feelings between reality and the person he idealizes to be. The song turns hopeful, conveying how pessimism ultimately holds us back from reaching that ideal, weaving in messages of accepting our weary selves, irrespective of our flaws and mistakes.

On March 2018, RM of BTS tweeted that he was working on new solo music. Quickly becoming a trending topic on Twitter, fans waited excitedly, anticipating the release of his new mixtape. On 23^rd October 2018, RM released his 2^nd mixtape, titled “mono”, debuting at #1 in 123 countries globally on the iTunes charts, becoming the highest-charting album in iTunes history worldwide, a record previously held by fellow group member, J-Hope of BTS. It has surpassed 223 million streams on Spotify and debuted at #26 on the Billboard 200 charts, making him the highest charting Korean solo act on that chart. ARMYs, BTS’s fanbase maintained streaming charts and racked up album sales. This was an impressive feat considering it was released free to stream and download, with barely any promotion from RM or Big Hit Entertainment (currently, HYBE Corporation).

Figure 1: RM. Image source: Koreaboo

In mono, RM explores his identity through themes of nostalgia, loneliness, longing and uncertainty about the future. He’s known for the genius of his lyricism; he often uses phonetics and wordplay to invoke reflection and introspection from the listeners. Like most of BTS’ music, fans recount the listening experience of “mono” as therapeutic and heartwarming. It has been a source of comfort for listeners, with Dee Lockett from Vulture stating that mono “Mono sounds like how settling into a lukewarm bath feels: cleansing, just the right amount of steamy, and soothing to the touch". The critical reception of the mixtape as a whole is hugely positive, with NME rating it 4 out of 5 stars.

Figure 2: Mono playlist. Image source: Twitter

According to this lyric and translation guide, “어긋” can be defined as falling out of step, as falling short of expectations and as missing each other after parting with them. Written from a stream of consciousness narrative, RM combines these different definitions of “어긋” and offers an unfiltered outlook on the feelings that encompass our expectations, failures, our reality and the sadness that surrounds the distance between the ‘real me’ and who we want to be. The song starts with a mantra of sorts, seeking to reassure himself and the listener that we only need ourselves to survive in this world. Then he goes on to contradict this with lyrics that embody the universal experience of not being ‘good enough’, expressing his need to meet his real self or the self he idealises to be.

The song begins with haunting synth chords giving way to the chorus:

All I need is me

I know, I know, I know

All you need is you

You know, you know, you know

This verse repeats throughout the song. These lyrics are adored by fans. The repetition of these simple words makes it seem like a desperate incantation one says when they are in trouble and needs reassurance.

The first verse is filled with berating and chastisement. RM is frustrated by his past misgivings (가끔은 내게 실망해, 스스로 나를 짓밟네). He asks himself if this is the best he can be (너 이것밖에 안 돼?). When he sings “훨씬 더 잘해야 해, 너 훨씬 더 멋져야 해, 지느니 죽어야 해이겨야 해 넌 넌 넌” he is telling himself to be better and cooler, alluding to the type of comments we all receive regarding failure and the constant pressure to succeed in our lives.

The second verse conveys how harrowing the experience of constant failure is, how it encroaches on one’s self-worth and how it makes us weary. He sings about the desire to “cross the bridge” to meet his more competent, “ideal” self, the one whom he deems is his real self (그래도 다리 건너 내게 닿고 싶어, 진짜 내게). His use of 내게 can highlight his confusion regarding his real self (me) and the ideal self (you) as the Korean pronunciation of ‘me’ and ‘you’ is similar and very hard to distinguish. The interpretation will depend on the listener.

Then the song takes on a hopeful tone, offering consolatory words to the listener. He sings that you can’t always get an A in life and that it’s okay to get B’s. He sings of how it can rain in deserts too, signalling that some things are out of our control. Then he sings that he can’t give up on himself because despite all the shortcomings and mistakes, he is perfect in his mind (근데 미안 난 나를 포기할 수가 없어, 내가 아는 나를 난 놓아줄 수가 없어, 내 머릿속의 넌 이렇게 온전한데 완전한데). He is refusing to give in to the crushing pressure and wallow in his sorrows. The song ends with his soothing voice empathizing and offering a sense of hope and solace.

Ultimately, the song chronicles RM’s torment and the pain that his destructive thoughts bring him. He feels trapped but decides to rise above it by consoling and reassuring himself. He accepts that there are things beyond his control. For listeners who might feel lost in their mistakes, who might feel like they are struggling to stay afloat, this song is a lighthouse in the dark, lending its light to guide you back to safety.

The impact of this mixtape and its meaning to the fans is immeasurable. A famous saying within the ARMY fandom is “Are you listening to mono or is mono listening to you?” hinting at the immense experience of listening to the mixtape. Fans describe it as a warm hug, a balm for wounds and a light to guide them through tough times. Four years after its release, it is still breaking records, winning the all-time record for most #1’s or any album in iTunes history.

Watch the official music video of 어긋 here

Find the lyrics of the song here

Vihangi Nimesha Kulathilaka ©, please do not reproduce without prior permission.