Dating apps are a great way to meet new people, but your emotional and physical safety should be a priority. Here are a few things to keep in mind when using online dating platforms.

Assess the risk of sharing personal information

Have a think about how much personal information you’re comfortable sharing and the risks associated with:

• linking other social media accounts or device features to your dating app/platform
• sharing your work or home address or other personal details like birthdate, phone number or email address
• sharing private, intimate or explicit images featuring nudity/sexual acts.

Image-based abuse

Consent online is just as important as in real life. You need consent to send another person texts that contain intimate images (such as nudes of yourself).

You also need consent to share someone else’s intimate images. It is never, under any circumstances, okay to share, or threaten to share, such images without the person’s consent – this is a breach of trust and constitutes image-based abuse.

Familiarise yourself with the apps/platforms and reporting options

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, uses abusive or threatening language or shares inappropriate content – or you suspect that they are not who they claim to be – you can use the reporting features available through the platform you’re using. Other options available for reporting include the Safer Community Unit and eSafety Commissioner.

You may want to consider how the app you've selected protects and safeguards conversations and images you share. For instance, Whatsapp may automatically save images to your camera roll, iCloud may transfer them to a shared family album, and Snapchat and Instagram will inform you if someone takes a screenshot. Consider changing some of these settings to suit your level of comfort, safety, security and privacy.

When meeting someone in person, limit how isolated you’ll be with them

Until you're comfortable and have developed a sense of trust, you should:

• Consider the location of your first date. It’s recommended that you meet somewhere public where there’ll be bystanders to help if anything goes wrong.
• Know your options for getting to and from the meeting point without having to depend on the person you’re meeting (e.g. Could you drive there? Is public transport easily accessible? Would you be comfortable taking an Uber alone? Could you have a friend help you?).

Let a friend know where you’re going

If you’re meeting someone for the first time, you could message a friend with the details of the meeting, including their name, the time and the address. Let your friend know what time you expect the date to finish and update your location if you move.

Keep your self-esteem in check and develop emotional resilience

It’s natural to feel low when things don’t go how you planned. When it comes to online dating, looking after your mental health is a priority. If you felt rejected, had a difficult conversation or are just frustrated, give yourself a well-deserved break offline.

In this digital age, it’s likely you may experience some form of cyber abuse or know someone else who has. Either way it’s important that you manage the impact and build your resilience. Perhaps you’ll help others who may be experiencing this type of abuse stay in control.

Think about what you’re looking for and know your boundaries

You could be looking for a casual hook-up, short-term fling or a relationship – whatever the case, it’s good to have an idea about your own values and boundaries so you’re guided by your wants and needs instead of being led by the other person.

Online dating red flags

These are some warning signs (red flags) to look out for in all your relationships, but especially when you’re getting to know someone new online.

Red flags include when a person:

• expresses deep feelings after very little interaction
• tests your boundaries or pushes you to do things you don't want to do
• refuses to video call or doesn’t sound quite right on calls
• is unwilling to talk through issues
• criticises or dismisses you frequently
• doesn’t show up for the first meeting
• doesn’t include photos of themselves on the platform you’re using
• turns the conversation to be mainly about themselves.

Seek support and report online abuse

If you’re the target of online abuse, remember, it’s never your fault. And you’re not on your own. There are practical steps you can take to protect yourself and deal with the abuse:

• Seek advice and support from the Monash Safer Community Unit and/or Counselling Service.
• Report the abuse to the social media service’s safety centre. Depending on the platform, you can usually block or mute the abuse, but if you want to report it, you should first collect evidence.
• Report image-based abuse to the eSafety Commissioner. They can help to remove intimate images and videos that have been shared without your consent and provide access to counselling and support.
• Consider taking legal action. If technology is used to abuse, stalk, threaten or defame you, Commonwealth, state and territory laws may apply.
• Choose to disable location services on your devices and avoid ‘checking in’ to places and venues.
• Enable Bluetooth only when needed and ‘remove’ paired devices when you’re not using them. On Apple devices, you can turn off Airdrop to avoid being sent content by people you don’t know.
• Update your settings on social media as a precautionary measure so others cannot tag or post videos or photos of you without your permission.