Principal's story 1

A staff member I’ve managed for many years continues to make horrible, baseless allegations against my personal character. I feel helpless, as my employer appears to do nothing to address the conduct. I was told by managers that “every school has one” and pursuing HR matters is “career limiting”. 

Principal's story 2

A student with complex needs had a long history of intimidating and verbally abusing others, and this behaviour was becoming more extreme as they got older. During a school excursion, the student made awful, unacceptable comments about a teacher.

I felt guilty for allowing the student to attend the excursion, but it would have been seen as discriminatory if I hadn’t. I felt disappointed in myself that I hadn’t protected the teacher from the verbal abuse and humiliation.

I applied for a formal suspension but that caused other difficulties.

I wish people understood how difficult it is to manage the rights of the student and the rights of the teacher. And to protect the department from litigation.

Principal's story 3

A student at my school alleged an assault from another student. Despite following all the correct protocols, I had to manage several months of conflict between various groups. Each party maintained my response was inadequate for opposite reasons. I was vilified on social media. Support from the department was slow in coming and unsatisfactory.

The incident made me feel exhausted, and as though I was everyone's punching bag. It made me question whether it was worth doing the job that I've loved.

Principal's story 4

A parent was dissatisfied with how I handled an incident involving their child. The parent became abusive and made death threats via an incessant stream of emails and phone calls over a period of time.

I was determined to keep my sense of humour about the situation.

However, I activated the appropriate protocols to ensure the safety of the staff, and pressed charges against the parent.

While I felt empathetic towards the parent, who clearly had their own challenges, I was frustrated by the time and intensity of the workload the situation created.

Principal's story 5

I needed to take long service leave after the [traumatic incident]. I slept for two weeks, my partner was concerned. I fobbed it off by saying I had COVID, but I just needed some time because I was mentally drained.

Typing this is the first time I have publicly admitted to the real reason. Admitting weakness or vulnerability goes against things like your pride - being stoic. Hard things to let go of, when you hold such a public facing position in leading a school.

I learned that the system is out to protect itself, not the people within. Principals are the vanguard for the students and staff, the system does not want to make hard decisions, the system fears anyone that has the means to fight them legally. You become part of that collateral damage.

Trust in yourself, share the experience so others are prepared. You need to be resilient, you need a lifestyle with other interests in it like I have to be able to escape the whirlwind of thought that sees some spiral into depths of darkness.

Principal's story 6

Dealing with this parent was incredibly stressful. I started to dread each email, I could feel my stress levels rise each time. I lost many hours of sleep trying to think of a resolution, I worried about the parent taking to social media, I worried about the impact on the other student involved. I was very concerned about the associate principal and provided continually support and opportunities to debrief.

Principal's story 7

The incidents that year were the most devastating and impactful of my career. I felt that it was my responsibility as Principal to focus on the wellbeing of staff, students and the community, and in particular, the child and their family. While I deliberately took advantage of the counselling, a one-off counselling session with no follow up was inadequate. This is not to blame the department but to emphasise the lack of resources for dealing with critical incidents such as this.

I wish that people could have some understanding of the incident but how can they understand if they have not experienced it? The child, their family, the students, staff and community were traumatised as well as myself. I am fortunate to have had my partner to talk to.

During that time, my leadership skills were tested and I questioned myself often about decisions and strategies I was making. I had the fantastic support of a great Director who helped get me through this situation.

I learnt a lot about myself and my leadership. It also helped me to realise that there was more to my life than my work. At the end of that year I was diagnosed with an illness. I have no idea whether the two critical incidents impacted my physical and mental health that year but it certainly could have. I believe these experiences have changed my leadership. I lead with greater empathy and take a “family first” approach to my staff.

Principal's story 8

The whole incident made me feel extremely frightened and a little bit annoyed. You kick into ‘doing mode’ and the adrenaline helps.

Of course, once the incident is over, there is always a negative email that you receive despite doing all you can to manage the situation...

Dealing with this type of critical incident is emotionally exhausting. On the day, I left school about 7:30pm, and just cried to release the pressure. You actually feel personally responsible for keeping people safe. For making sure they return home well having had a good day. My aim was to prevent trauma and death in this instance. It stays with you for a very long time. You keep going around and around the situation, and what you did and how you responded, and thinking “could the matter have been prevented?” and “could things have been handled better?”

I wake up at 3:33am each and every day, when those critical incidents are happening. I sadly worry, and that is in my nature. I worry about the safety element that is absolutely critical for all schools. It’s a huge reputational risk.

Principal's story 9

I was upward-bullied by staff in my school through a concerted effort on their behalf. This resulted in a series of coordinated, petty and often factually incorrect complaints being lodged about me which resulted in my removal from the school whilst an investigation took place, my almost complete isolation, ostracization and presumption of guilt.

This investigation took months to conclude at which point I was allowed to return to my school. I declined and took up a position at another school as principal and have not looked back due to the success I have had since, and for fear of reliving the toll it took on my health, my relationships, my family and my career.

Through the ebbs and flows of the ordeal I felt highly and clinically anxious and depressed. For long periods I was suicidal and felt angry at the staff, the Department and the process. Having had a successful career to that point, I suddenly felt abandoned by colleagues I thought I could rely on, line managers and Department staff whom I thought trusted me, and friends in the profession who were suddenly unavailable to me.

As a result, I have learned to play the game. Not for the benefit of students as I used to think. Now I play the game of arse-covering, falsehoods, platitudes and mirrors to present an image of a dutiful public servant. It's not a good way to lead a professional life, but it keeps me safe and employed. I do not trust the mechanics of the Department, nor the people that work within it. I now take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication daily.

Principal's story 10

I took up a position in a school and was greeted as the first female principal in the school’s history. Parents were negative and unwelcoming, staff were equally unwelcoming.

Change process takes time however, a small group of very vocal parents were very vocal in working against me. They took action on social media, spoke regularly with the [important stakeholders] about me.

A small group of staff who had been at the school for a very long time and who also worked in the community also worked with the parent group but behind closed doors.

I was verbally assaulted by a group of hostile parents, [A senior teacher] in the school was found to be working behind my back undermining my every action. When confronted, the [senior teacher] deemed themself better suited to the job.

Principal's story 11

I was dealing with a student’s parents in a meeting in my office over an incident in which their son was involved. The father verbally threatened me, and stated if he wasn't satisfied with the outcome I was on notice - he would do something about it.

My response was to stand up, and call the meeting to an immediate end. I then dealt with the situation with the students, and the following day called his mother explaining the resolution and explaining that I would not be speaking to her husband given the threat the day prior.

The incident made me feel immediately under threat and I could feel a chill and sweat as my stress response kicked in. I felt anger, which is what I suppressed to stand up and end the meeting.

This incident was one of a number of critical incidents at the time, and to be personally threatened crossed a boundary in my mental health and ability to cope. This led to a downward spiral in my mental health and a plan to take leave at semester end.

Principal's story 12

A worn-down mother came into my office and told me she felt life wasn't worth living anymore and she did not know if she wanted to continue living. She was openly suicidal [due a range of difficult family issues].

My response was that of empathy and action. I attempted to highlight the good things in her life, especially her child. I discussed the supports we had in place for her child and some of the progress we'd made. I asked if she had any counselling or support set up, which she didn't, I asked if she was comfortable if I sought further advice from the police and the child protection concerns raised. We organised a catch up time and I emphasised the need for her to focus on her wellbeing. I spoke with the police which took over an hour, and we locked in a phone call they would make to offer support through their systems.

Having a suicidal person come to you is quite daunting, and so my responses were fuelled by adrenaline. It did impact my thinking for some time.

I felt like I was dealing with a non-school topic. Although I handled it as well as I could, it was pretty full on for me to manage.

Being a principal has some serious ups and downs and the workload is unforgiving. It's very hard to focus on an AIP or yard duty timetable or ensuring someone gets the 15 minutes of release time they missed last week when dealing with an issue like a suicidal parent ...

I learnt it's always ok to push the work aside for a human in need, which is what I will continue to do.

Principal's story 13

The incident I have chosen to reflect on is the death of a child from [a terminal illness].

We worked closely with the family to communicate the diagnosis to other families in a way that ensured they had the support and the space to work through it as a family.

Initially, the focus was on the child's return to school, trying to identify when that might be and what supports would be required when he returned.

The child’s rapid deterioration and death came as a shock. Almost all staff had developed a connection with the child and the family and were emotionally vulnerable. I gathered all staff in an emergency meeting and explained the situation to them. The staff member who was working most closely with the family was visibly shaken and many staff experienced significant grief at this moment.

I felt numb throughout much of the process. In order to be able to do the work and pass on the messages that I was, I wasn't able to fully experience my own grief, sadness and exhaustion. It had been an emotional ride for everyone but I had been a witness to others, forcing myself to try and remain stable throughout it even when I felt shattered inside.

I wish people understood how damaging this felt. When I finally had time to grieve properly, I was not in a place to do so effectively. I had the support of a psychologist but even then, these sessions didn't always fall at the right time or on the right day. I felt alone in my leadership role, even though I knew there were dozens of people who felt and wanted to help the family, too, it was difficult to delegate the responsibility.

I learnt the damage of storing and denying grief. However, I still do not know how I would be able to manage this situation much differently for myself. The work I did professionally was of a very high standard. But it came at great personal cost.

Principal's story 14

A primary-aged child with trauma was dysregulated in class. Bouncing balls on classroom tables during class, deliberately trying to distract peers, ignoring teacher, principal, aide. Tried to evacuate class but student kept following and finding objects to make noise.

When class evacuated outside the student started throwing a ball at students, missed. Threw [objects] on to the teacher, then at the principal, swearing at principal, teacher, peers. Ignoring all instructions or alternative choices. Mother was refusing to pick up the phone. Child hit [a number of] teachers. Texted mum that I would call police - student finally exits school.

The incident made me feel helpless. The student wasn't responding to anything from anyone, and no support from home. The students were amazing at ignoring the child, but they're also scared as they’ve hurt other children in the past and is also a verbal bully.

Helpless as I couldn't impact change on the child, protect my staff, protect my students. Every second I'm considering what the student needs, what the other students need, the level of risk to all, other ways to handle it, other ideas that might click for the students, understanding they are doing this because of trauma and anxiety, balancing my teachers needs, what directions to give, what the next step will be, how will this end, what if someone gets hurt, how much risk is enough etc.

I'm not sure people can understand the competing priorities and weighing of decisions and weight of the decisions for the student, her family, the children and their families, the teachers and their needs (do they feel supported, safe?), and department responsibilities, the paperwork involved.

Until you've been in that position I'm not sure you understand how difficult it is and the constant questioning if you've made the right decision, the timing of the decision, and the impact the decision will have on everyone, and how I manage the impact, but also remain calm and positive.

Some students need things that I cannot provide as a person, or as a school. Our system isn't equipped to meet the extreme needs of some students on some days. I called colleagues and reflected and felt we handled things as best we could.

Principal's story 15

Within the first few weeks of undertaking a new principal role, I was sent an email threatening to explode a bomb in the school that morning. I read the email at 6:00 am. I lived a [lengthy] commute to work, and the school was hosting an important event that day.

I went through a brief stage of panic when I was unable to reach any of the support staff from Regional Office. I had to make multiple decisions in a very short timeframe in order to ensure staff who were already onsite were notified to enact evacuation procedures and also ensure students arriving at school were accounted for but also not put at risk so I had to enact a secondary evacuation site (off site) while communicating with staff as they arrived to work.

Also making joint decisions regarding relocating the event.

I wish that people had understood that the decision making that was needed was urgent and pressing. The decision by the [senior official] to agree to close the school came much later in the day when it became apparent emergency services would not allow students on site. It left me and senior leaders the target of criticism about delays in communication. I also wish that people had understood that follow up support was needed in dealing with the community, especially for the parents of students who had felt affected by the last-minute relocation of the event.

They had seen the emergency services response occurring while walking past the school to an alternative venue. We had students who were very upset, but I was not supported and I had to work with each parent individually.

I learnt to ensure staff at the school had clear communication lines established and that debriefing after events would sometimes mean that upwards management was essential.

Principal's story 16

I am in a small school. One teacher had to take time off due to an illness.
It was impossible to find a replacement teacher so we managed with me teaching the class and covering with CRTs when we could.

I also had to support the other teacher - who was a young grad. The ill teacher did not return after their sick leave.

So we were still stuck with only one teacher and myself. By this stage, parents were getting anxious and one family even left the school.

Then my mother died - but due to the situation at the school I was unable to take any time off to grieve for her. It took an astronomical amount of complaining to upper management to find a teacher that could cover me for two days while I attended her funeral.

I just had to manage each day as best as I could - keeping a brave face on it all. I felt helpless and hopeless. Despite other principals in my area knowing what was happening, I had no one reach out to see how I was coping.

Parents kept demanding more and more and I was very close to quitting. Eventually some parents did realise the stress I was under and became very supportive, but they were in the minority.

I think only [one ancillary staff member] really knew what I was struggling with. I learned that you are truly on your own in this world - the department talks a great talk but they don't or won't help you.